Still Single What do i do?

Dear Adey

I am above 35 and still single. However I have a guy that i have been dating to keep myself busy. he has asked me to marry him but i do not love him. He is very comfortable and nice so I am thinking of saying yes but then again i am wondering what if i find my one true love.i am so confused

N

Dear N

First I would like to say that 35 is just a number and it doesn't define who you are and what you would become in life. Also it doesn't make you a failure. Don't fall into the lies of this world that associate being married as being successful.Marriage is definitely a good thing if you are married to the right person. However don't force yourself into a situation u may later regret. You need to ask yourself questions and find out if that guy asking for your hand in marriage is the type of man you would like to spend the rest of your life with for bad or for worse. you do not want to add to the divorce statistics.

Let me share a bit of my story. I was single for a while and I had this guy who wanted us to date. He had been asking for a long time but I knew he wasn't my type of person. His personality was too rough for me, he said things without filtering his thoughts. He disrespected other women and  I knew I couldn't deal. Instead of letting him stick around, i let him go just because I never wanted to pity him. i did not need to keep myself busy. sometimes we have to love and enjoy our single life. 
Since you asked for my opinion, i will keep it real, Let him go, you will find your prince charming soon.

 Regards

Adey

I hardly make enough money to make ends meet and I am wondering if I would ever be rich?

Dear Adey

I hardly make enough money to make ends meet and I am wondering if I would ever be rich? What do u think!

Brent

Dear Brent.

I know how hard it is living from one pay check to another but I believe with a little planning, you can still achieve your dreams of being successful, Here are a few things I would do if I were in your position.

Get a better job to make more income or get a supplemental job to add to your current income
Live below your pay grade
Cut any excesses in your life. Don't eat out, don't buy unnecessary clothes or stuffs you don't need
Get on a budget and live by the budget
Save at least 10% of your income
Tithe - this means giving out a tenth of your income to A church, NGO, the needy etc
Stay out of debt
Find out what you are passionate about and research more about it
Read books on success

Overtime you will develop the right mindset that will set you in your path to becoming successful

Cheating Boyfriend

Dear Adey

I have been dating this guy for slightly over a year only to realize that he has another  girlfriend. when I confronted him, he denied saying that was his Ex. I believed, apologized for doubting him and moved on, only to find out that he lied and he is still communicating with the girl. i recently found out that he travelled to go visit her. Saw a picture of them online. He told me he was going on a business trip. What do u think?

Belinda


Hello Belinda

Thanks for writing me. If I were in your position, I would end the relationship simply because I would not be able to trust him/her anymore. Any partner that cannot be faithful in a relationship cannot be faithful in marriage that is if you eventually get to that road. A broken relationship would always be better than a broken marriage.

I would count my loss and move on even thou it's not that easy. I believe time heals and with time you will get over your partner. 

Kind regards

Adey

Trying to decide whether to pay off credit card debts or start a new business

Dear Adey,

I just got a pay increase and I have over $35,000 in credit card debts, However I have the options of investing in retirement plans and starting up a business. What do you think?
Thanks
A.

Dear A

Thanks for writing me. If I were in your position, I will do the following. Live my life  like I never got the increase and use the extra money to pay off my debts as quickly as i possibly can, that way I can clean up the mess faster and have more than enough to invest in my retirements and also start my business. Here is my reasoning, If I let the debts linger, It will continue to accrue interest and even thou I start a business that is successful I will find my self using my profit to pay back/ service my debt instead of investing back into the business which might also make the business die before serious take off.  It is better to clear off all personal debts as much as you can to give you more room to plan for the future. 

Kind regards

Adey

Enquiring about studying in the United states.

Dear Adey

I am interested in studying a graduate program in the United States. I have wealth of working experience most especially in Media. I have a good GRE score and TOEFL. my only challenge is my undergraduate GPA is below 3.0.However, I want full scholarships like graduate assistant ships and I desire to be admitted in a top school.  what should I do? Which type of school should I apply to? Should I choose MBA or Msc. in HR?  My long-term goal is to pursue a PhD so I can pursue my writing passion, to write Bestselling books in human development genre. I need your  advice.

Andrea

Dear Andrea

Congratulations on your desire of wanting to pursue your education even further and i think the United States is a great choice of location. I also got my Masters degree from the United states. I don't think you should stress yourself too much on your undergraduate GPA, there are a lot of schools that would accept your application with a good GRE  and TOEFL score. Getting a full scholarship and graduate assistant ship is based on how much you research about the jobs within the university, however that should only come after you have gained admission into your school of choice

If a top business school is your dream then go for it. Apply regardless of your undergraduate GPA you might be accepted. You will never know until you try. They might make you take a few prerequisites after your admission. Look up the schools you desire, send them an email and ask your questions and they will get back to you.

My advice, apply to more than one school for sure. If MBA is what you want, go for it and if MSc is also an option you can divide the schools and divide the courses among the schools so for example you can pick two schools and apply to their MBA program and you can pick another 2 and apply to an MSC program. If your final goal is a phd, then You still have an option of getting into a top school for your phd if you don't get into one now. 

Kind Regards

Adey

Welcome to Ask Adey

 Welcome to Ask Adey

There is nothing as exciting as writing and speaking about personal development because i am a living testimony.  I have grown dramatically from someone without a purpose & vision into someone who is living her life well on track and still growing at an amazing pace.  I believe yours too can be the same and even better if you stay a little longer with me on this blog to learn the things I have learnt & am still learning.

This blog was created with you in mind. My vision is to see every individual become the best version of themselves. I try to achieve this by motivating and inspiring people at every opportunity I get. My mission is to empower you to live up to your true potential. I believe in developing the nation one individual at a time. 

I am a personal development coach waxing stronger daily in my field. Whilst growing up, I was told everyday by my parents, guardians and even lecturers in school that I must make sure I come out with good grades if I wanted to be successful in life. While the above statement proves to be somewhat true, it was also very confusing because I felt that was all that was needed to be done to become successful and fulfilled.

It’s been over 10 years since I left college and I have come to realize that while it is good to read hard in school and get good grades, it’s not sufficient in itself to guarantee you success. There is so much more for you to know if you desire to live that life you have always imagined for yourself. I soon realized that I needed to develop myself in every way possible to become successful. Sadly these skills are not taught in the four walls of a school. All we are taught are courses and not real life subjects that we face on a daily basis. Using myself as an example, I was taught courses like foreign policy, international law amongst many others. While this was a critical knowledge for me to have as an international relations student looking forward to becoming an ambassador, it wasn’t sufficient to even get me a job, keep me in the job and make me successful. I had to learn new skills which have contributed to making me who I am today. These skills are what this blog is all about.

I plan to put my current thoughts on personal development here on this blog. Starting today, I’ll be posting regularly right here, so I hope you join me and feel free to tell others. Have a wonderful day and do visit this blog regularly because it will be filled with ideas and discoveries that will transform you totally into that person you are destined to be.

Let’s help you walk your way to the top………………

Follow me on Instragram @ askadey_