Success has no race, gender or location

Sometimes its so hard to believe that very famous and rich people once had nothing.Their lives look so good that many argue without facts and assume they were born with a silver spoon.
I was searching the internet and came across a few things about Oprah Winfrey and thought to share.

• Did you know that she spent the first six years of her life living with her grandmother wearing dresses made out of potato sacks?
• Did you also know she was molested by two members of her family and a family friend?
• Did you know that she ran away from home at the age of 13, had a baby at 14 and lost the baby shortly after he was born?

She had a terrible background and it seemed like everything worked against her until one day when things turned around.  she got a full scholarship to college and that opportunity changed her life forever.

Life will always throw you lemons. It is what you do with the lemons that makes all the difference.
You can either let it shape you and make you a victim forever or you could use it as a stepping stone.
Success pays no attention to race, gender or location. It is readily available to all who work hard for it irrespective of your location.
I want you to believe that you too can be successful.
Work hard towards your goals and be consistent. There are no shortcuts. The race is not to the swift.
Do not use your neighbors success as your yardstick
Be patient and everything will wok together for your good

All the best

Kind Regards

Adey

Better late than never

I have had the most hectic day today but this blog is my passion and i must post everyday regardless of how i feel, strong or weak, happy or sad.

I am committed and determined to achieve my dreams which is to inspire people. Second i know i have a few readers out there who are waiting for my post everyday. I read your emails encouraging me to keep doing what i am doing for that reason i must continue to post.

Life will always present us with bumps and turns we don't expect but the least we can do is to rise above the challenges.
Our dreams deserve a chance to succeed.  The talents and gifts we have must be actualized.

The world needs you.

The world needs your gifts

• Do not let your type of day determine whether you are going to make a choice to keep pushing or give up.
• Do not let situations determine whether you should rise or fail.

We are more than conquerors......

Everyone of us have our own race and no two people are similar. As long as you are moving in the right direction, you will get there

It is better than late than never

Have a great evening guys

Regards

Adey

I am loosing my sanity. How can i pay off over $50,000 worth of debt in this life time ?

Dear Adey,

I just can't seem to get out of debt. I owe over $55,000 in debts. I was just trying to handle my credit card and car note bills when an unexpected medical emergency showed up out of nowhere costing me almost $30,000. I have a baby who is about to start daycare because my wife is tired of being a stay at home wife. She wants to get a job but i doubt it would make any difference due to her level of education. I am tired and just wanna give up . Your advice will go a long way.

Thank you

Tom

Hello Tom

I will like you to calm down and breathe. I understand that $55,000 is a lot of money but don't let it ruin your happiness. Your situation is not out of this world. Many people have had worse amount of debt and have paid it off overtime.

First thing first. Get a pen and paper or open up an excel sheet on a laptop and draw up your monthly budget. I want you to write down every thing you spend money on. An example would be the following;

• Rent/Mortgage
• Electricity
• Water/Sewage
• Internet/Cable
• Transportation/fuel/car maintenance
• Grocery
• Clothing
• Hair cut
• Coffee
• Restaurants
• Sports/Entertainment
• insurance- health, auto etc
• Mobile phone 
• wife expenses
• Add as many items to the list.  

Make sure everything you spend money on has a name and add the dollar figure to each item. Review your budget properly to ensure that it has all the important stuff on there. During this process you might be able to immediately spot the unnecessary things that take your money. Cut it out from the budget and proceed to step 2.

Next thing would be to Itemize all your bills; Credit Card, Car note and medical and list each bill from smallest to largest.  Add up the total amount, in your case Tom, your total would be $55,000

What this process does is to lay out a clear picture of your expenses and the debts you owe.

Next would be to list all your income from all sources. For the purpose of this question, let us assume that all your income each month is $6592 after taxes and expenses are $5300 that means you have a left over of $1292.
I will like you to do the following if you have left overs after subtracting your income from your expenses
Open an account and save up an emergency fund of at least 20% of your salary. it might take you a month or two to get that saved up.  After that start paying off the debts with the lowest balance. This way you don't have too many bills lurking around which can make one go crazy and give up. With time no matter how long, your bills will get paid off.  Using the figures above, it will take you a month and some change to save up 20% of $6592. By month 2 i would like you to put all the left over money towards the debts. Trust me after knocking out the first bill,  you will be happy and feel like you got everything under control which you actually do.

Your budget will most likely need to be adjusted each month since nothing is constant. You may need to add your child's day care at whatever month your wife decides to resume work etc. however make sure everything goes into the budget and if its not in the budget then there is no money for it.

Are you aware than under 2 years, you could be done paying off all your debts.  Yay... That would be sweet if these figures were your actual figures

however If after step 3 you have a deficit after subtracting your income from your expenses then you have to go back to step 1 and review the budget. Somethings would have to give.  List your monthly budget in the other of importance.

• Shelter
• Food
• Electricity
• Water
• Transportation
• Assign an amount to save towards the emergency fund
• and the rest.  The list ends went you reach 0.

Once you have an emergency money saved up, you can then use the figure assigned to the emergency fund to pay your debts bit by bit.  In no time, you would've knocked out $55,000 like a real G.

Also let your wife start something no matter how small. She probably sees all the stress and is trying to help out. Little money is better than no money at all.

Finally cut back on your spending habits.... if you don't have the money to pay for it, then you cannot afford it.
Learn how to save up for anything you want instead of swiping those credit cards
Drive what you can afford and don't fall a victim of the credit society we live in.
Live within your means
Don't buy fashion that cost you half of your paycheck. It would probably go out of style before you are done paying for it

I know we don't pray for medical issues but we can plan for them ahead of time by saving for them since we are sure they will show up unannounced.

Get your wife on board and you both should sit down and work this plan together. You will notice how quickly things will turn around for good for your family.

I know this is a long response but i believe it will help you out a lot. Also there might be a reader who also needs this

All the best Tom

Regards'

Adey

I don't know what else to do. Please Help!!!

Dear Adey

I have 2 kids with my husband of 5 years. I am working two jobs to keep up with our living expenses. My husband lost his job over a year ago and it has been really difficult getting another one. I am trying to help him find a job. I don't know what else to do. I feel like a single mom.

Kelly

Hello Kelly

My heart goes out to you. i can't even imagine the stress you are dealing with. Taking care of 2 kids and shuffling between two jobs is a lot. You are definitely a super woman. keep doing what you are doing to keep your family together. This is what "for better for worse" means.

I know one year seems like a long time to be looking for work  but i suggest you put your husband in your daily prayers. He needs all the support he can get from you right now.

I will also suggest you refer him to staffing agencies who can help him look for a job rather than you do it. you have a lot on your plate right now and i don't think you need another responsibility.

Kelly i will like you to know that nothing is permanent and this phase that your husband is passing through will soon fade away. He had a Job before and he can always get another one again. In the mean time he can look for odds jobs to help him keep up with the cash flow.  Uber drivers make a decent amount of money and all he needs is probably a car which i bet he has. He can do that while he is on the look out for something better.

Be strong for yourself and your family.

I am very aware that the responsibilities are killing you and that is probably why you feel like a single mum but don't be afraid to ask for help. Ask him to help you take care of the kids if you need to quickly catch a nap.

Be open to your spouse about your feelings and i guarantee you will feel a lot better. Remember you are still the woman of the home and not the man so don't emotionally take up responsibilities that your husband could handle if you let him.

I believe everything willful into place in due time.

stay strong my dear and know i am also praying for you.

All the best Kelly.

PS if you happen to be in the united states, send me more information and i can try to connect you with a few organizations that might be able to help.

Regards

Adey

I am starting to feel useless and i am so depressed...

Dear Adey,

I have been unemployed for over 6 months. Finding another job has been really difficult. I apply for jobs everyday but i was wondering what else i could do with my time. I am starting to feel useless and i am so depressed.

Thank you

Tony


Dear Tony

I am so glad you asked this question because it shows that you are thinking and willing to learn and for that i am proud of you. There is no reason to be depressed or feel useless. Your overall success is not dependent on a 9-5 Job rather it is dependent on what you know and most importantly what you do with what you know.

I understand that unemployment in different countries vary and some are worse than others but you have got to keep yourself occupied with something meaningful. You have to keep learning and growing.

Here are a few things you can do with your time....

• Spend your time adding value to yourself by learning a new skill. This is not only good for you but it will also help you with your next job. No employer wants to hire individuals who have been doing absolutely nothing with their time. It shows lack of creativity. Don't just add any skill for the sake of it, add one that is meaningful to you.  Also you could work for free in the industry of the skill you are considering if you cannot afford to pay for it.  Experience goes a long way and adds tremendous value.

• You could also spend time to discover your passions. This is a perfect time and besides it will pay off in the future. 

• Create a Job for yourself. I bet you have something of value within you that can be exchanged for money.  Your thing of value could range from makeup artistry, photography, baby sitting, driving for long hours( Uber driving) to whatever. Just look out for needs in your environment and provide the solution. Your unemployment may actually lead to a fresh start up business.  You never know until you try.

• Spend some hours job hunting. While all these ideas stated above are great. i do not want you to get so distracted. you still have to dedicate some hours in the day searching for new opportunities

• Unemployment is not a disease so i don't want you to spend all your day in the house looking and acting all depressed. Get out there and network with people. Your next employer might be at your next event or someone who could link you up might just be out there.

• Act like you still employed and dedicated 8 hours of your day to doing all of these things and still have fun at the end of day or week, whichever works best for you. 

• Get up in the morning, dress up and head out to the library or some place quiet away from home to get on with your to do list. Staying at home makes you lazy and also makes you available to a lot of distractions.  

• Stay committed and focused on learning and growing. You never know when your next job or opportunity will come knocking.

Not having a job is not an excuse to be a nuisance to your society, family, friends or yourself. Unemployment does not mean unqualified so don't act like a failure. This is just a temporary phase in your life. Please do not make it permanent by having the wrong attitude.

I really do wish you the best of luck and i hope you write me back with your success story.

All the Best

Adey

Why do you really wanna give up?

As I sat in front of my computer after a long day of taking care of everyone around me, I pondered the question of what to post today to my readers. I came across the thought of giving up and quickly shook away the feeling but then I wondered why people follow through with the thoughts of giving up. 

What makes you want to throw in the towel?

Could life be that hard for you?

Have you tried everything there is and it is just not working out?

Did you believe the lie that you are not good at anything?

Are you still job hunting?

Have you failed at your business or career?

Is your relationship not working out?

I know some of you probably have a thousand and one genuine reasons to give me in response to this question but those are not big enough reasons.

I am aware that life throws all sorts at us at different phases and it can be tiring I get it but none of those are worth you giving up for.

Yes I know you could have just lost your job. Do you know it's an opportunity to find a better one?
 you may have just  got dumped. Do you know if it was meant to be, that relationship would have survived the test of time?

Rather than give up why don't you throw all the energy you have left and give it one more try.

Do you know that your next move might be a million dollar move or it could be your opportunity at finding true love.

It could be anything you have always wanted.

No one has the power to shatter your dreams except you give them so do not give power to the situations you are facing.

I beg you as your friend not to give up. 

Do not look at how far you still need to go, rather be full of praises for how far you have come. You are not the same person  you were last year.
Do not look at how hard life has been or why things are taking so long to actualize, rather look at all the lessons you have learnt along the way and how you could help the world with your wealth of experience and wisdom.

Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest.

Every Challenge before you is just a stumbling block and not the end of the road

Failure is not fatal

Find your big WHY for starting that thing and keep pushing until you Succeed.

Happy Sunday!!!

Regards

Adey

Why should i work out and eat right?

After posting on the subject of WHY yesterday. i have been thinking of the things i wish i could do better and what was holding me back from doing them?

One of the things i wish i could do was loose some weight( 25 Pounds to be exact). The last time i lost some weight was when i was getting married, I wanted to look really nice and fit in my wedding outfit so i did all i could do which included, exercising daily and eating right.  Shortly after the wedding was over, I threw my healthy lifestyle to the window.  Now my recent post has got me thinking about it again.

I was searching for a new WHY and i found one.  Hopefully this new WHY keeps me on track forever.

For my lovely readers, i have compiled a list of WHY's that could serve as pointers for you, hopefully you find one that will keep you going and for those already on track thumps up to you. I am so proud of you.

I need to work out and eat right because i  have decided to;

• Be alive to fulfill my purpose
• Love myself more than Junk food.
• Lower my risk for heart disease  and other health conditions
• Spend less money at the clinics
• Add more years to my life 
• Respect my body
• Improve my self esteem
• Look younger 
• Be an example to my loved ones.
• Be more energized
• Stop desiring a better body but rather get committed to having one
• Be a winner in my life

All the best guys

Adey

How Big is your Why?

 It is inspiration Friday and we discussing the word WHY

Every individual wants to be successful in every area of their life yet very few people know why they want it.

I often hear questions like How can i be successful?

How can i find that perfect partner?

How can i find that dream Job?

How can i start my business?

But the bigger question is do you know what it takes to be great? Are you willing to go the extra mile?

Do you know what it takes to be successful? Are you willing to work hard?

Do you know what it takes to run a business?

If it were easy everyone would be successful at everything

Your why has to be great enough to keep you going when road bumps come your way.

Your Why has to be bigger than the challenges you are sure to face along the line

If you do not know what your why is, you will be knocked out at the slightest challenge that comes your way

Your why is what gives you energy,  It is what drives you.

Who are you fighting for? What is your purpose?

You should have a big enough why if you want to succeed

I hope you are inspired to discover your BIG WHY.

Have a great weekend

Regards

Adey

How can i discover my talent?

Dear Adey

I was on your IG page today and noticed your messages were centered around talents and gifts? Can you please shed more light on how i can discover my talent?

Ken

Hello  Ken. Thank you for writing me.

The subject of  talents and gifts have been widely discussed by various people and there are thousands of articles and schools of thought on how to discover them but i will shed light on how i discovered mine. I believe it will help you with yours.

Talent is simply a special ability that makes you do something really well. Some people stumbled on theirs early while some later than others. It doesn't really matter, the most important thing is that you find out what you are good at and start doing it.

For me, i found out my speaking and coaching ability shortly after finishing college. i had graduated and was waiting to go serve my country. During that time frame, i spent a good amount of time reading books and various articles. Many of those books triggered questions which led to my discovery.

I came across questions that made me think about things i was passionate about. I made a list of activities that interested me and started working my way from there.

I also prayed. I am a believer and i believe every good and perfect gift comes from the lord.

What fire is burning inside of you at this very moment? What comes easy for you? You can always start from there.

There has never been an easier time in the course of human history to begin fulfilling your life's mission than right now.

Spend quality time from your day each day to ponder on your interests and passion.

Once you discover them, begin trying them out, you will soon find one or two that sticks

 life is a journey, not one isolated day.

Wish you all the best

Regards

Adey

How can i build up wealth?

Dear Adey,

How can i build up wealth? i have a moderate income and i have little debts on my credit card and car note.

thank you for your advice in advance.

Tom

Hello Tom

Wealth building is a marathon and not a sprint and discipline is one of the key ingredients. Every good thing takes time  so does wealth building. Your most powerful wealth building tool is your income and  until you take control and manage your income, you will never get out of debt or build wealth.

So first thing would be for you to pay off all your debts as soon as you can and stay out of debts

Make sure you have a monthly savings of a minimum of 20% of your income.

Build up your emergency fund and put in a separate bank account. ( This fund will be used for emergencies only)

Make more than you spend

Look for  realistic investment opportunities

if you are entrepreneurial in nature, start up a new venture by solving a problem/providing a solution

Grow your network-

Read stories of successful people and pick a thing or two from them

Think of creative ways to increase your income

and don't forget to give.

All the best as you make your way to the top. See you there in a few.

Regards

Adey

How can i switch lanes from friend zone to boyfriend?

Dear Adey,

I have a friend that i really care about and i would like to date her but i have been friend zoned. Looking for a way to remove myself from that Zone. Can you advice on tips?

Lawrence


Dear Lawrence

How i love stories of the heart. your email made me smile. Anyways  let us go straight to the point.

First i will like to say that life is simple so don't complicate it. if you really care about this lady then you need to let her know as soon as possible before she gets taken. I am hoping for your sake that she is still single.

Express your feelings and let her know how much you care about her. you never know, she might have the same feelings but you will never find out if you do not try.

Two things will happen if you take this step. she will either say Yes or No. if she thinks about it and says yes then good for you but if she says no, then good for you too, it was not meant to be.

Nevertheless you have to give it a try. i wish you best of luck

Regards

Adey

How can i even start working on my dreams when i don't even have a job?

Dear Adey,

Been looking for a job for the past year and i have not gotten any thing. i am barely surviving  and i am wondering if you could advise me on how to get a job?

Tobs

Dear Tobs

it would have been great if i had more information to work with like your education level ,your skill set etc however i will advise based on the information provided.

The based way to get a job is to look for one in the area of your skill.

if you have searched in your area of skill and still don't have any offers, then you may need to learn a new skill that is relevant.

I understand that it is possible to study in a field that is kinda difficult to get a job. if you are in that situation you have to go learn a new skill. I will give you an example. I studied international Relations as my First degree because i wanted to be a diplomat in the future. In reality, it wasn't  easy getting a job in that field so i immediately opted for other skills.

 You may also be in a situation where your skill is no longer relevant in modern times, this also means that you have to go back to learn a new skill that is relevant now and in the nearest future.

Looking for a Job is an unpaid Job in itself so you must be dedicated and give it all your time.  Send out a minimum of 50 targeted resumes a day. PS Don't just out out resumes to companies, look at the job description, ensure you have the necessary skill set, then customize your resume to that specific job.

Depending on your country of residence, look for organizations that help individuals look for jobs

Grow your network, be social and tell as many people as you can

Make sure that your resume is well written with no errors.

Look for an unpaid internship that is close to home where you could render your services free until they see the value and begin to pay you for it or you could just use it as an opportunity to grow your wealth of experience. While you waiting to get the unpaid internship / searching for a job, you can do other odd jobs like driving Uber, working at a factory etc to help you get by

Best of Luck

Tobs

what steps do i need to take in achieving my dreams?

Dear Adey

what steps do i need to take in achieving my dreams?

thank you

Kay


Hello Kay


The first step would be to have a dream that you are passionate about. Passion is the fuel you need to see your dream through all the way to the end.

Second you need to write your dreams down. There is something strong about putting things to writing,it not only validates your idea but it also helps you remember it.

Third do a lot of research and understand everything you can about it;

Next, believe strongly in it.

Make a plan on how to accomplish it.

Put your plans to action

Review and amend along the way

Work hard at achieving it and  when you do achieve it, enjoy it.

Finally pay it forward

Kind Regards

Adey

Inspiration Friday

Today is inspiration Friday and we are discussing the story of a gentleman who failed multiple times before achieving success. His name is Nick Woodman and as at November 2016, he had a net worth of about $947 million. He is the founder and CEO of GoPro.  

Brief History:

Nick was a ‘B student’ during college and an avid surfer, a hobby which often times interfered with his studies. He wasn’t born a billionaire. Before creating the now wildly successful brand of wearable cameras – GoPro, he failed in great style with two online startups during the crazed dotcom bubble of 2000.

The Failures

First, he created  an e-commerce site which sold very cheap electronics. The company didn’t make any profit, so it was quickly shut down. That didn’t drive our future billionaire out of the business arena; it drove him to try harder, so in 1999 he set up a new company, an online marketing company. The site gave users the chance to win cash prizes in return for participating in sweepstakes. It was marketing through games. He even managed to raise $3.9 million in funding from different investors. The company was on the rise, but by 2001, Nick had to admit failure once again. He wasn’t able to create a sustainable user base from which to drive profit via the companies he was marketing.

The Lesson

After losing the second company, Nick cleared his head by going on a surf trip, a long one. Once back, he started working on a prototype for a camera which can be used by athletes: GoPro.

‘I was so afraid that GoPro was going to go away like the other companies i have created that I would work my ass off. That’s what the first boom and bust did for me. I was so scared that I would fail again that I was totally committed to succeed.’

Only this time, there was no bust, only the boom. GoPro made him one of the youngest billionaires in the world.

My thoughts

Never Ever give up.  At firs if you don’t succeed, get up and try again. It might just be your second or third try that will hit the Jack pot.  Keep Trying until you succeed.

All the best guys and have a great holiday weekend

I need help!!!. I have no idea what i wanna be in the future

Dear Adey,

I honestly don't know what i wanna be in the future. I see your post about dreams and aspirations and i wonder if something is wrong somewhere. Right now i am happily married with 3 kids. i have a decent job and my husband has his own business. I take care of my family and that is what i live for. it makes me happy and i am content but recently your posts has got me thinking maybe i am meant to be doing more. i honestly do not know what that more should be.

thanks

Ope.

Hello Ope

Thank you so much for your email. You are one of the people i had in mind when i started this platform. My platform's overall goal is to get you thinking and finally get you doing.  I am so happy that you are finally thinking.

Whenever i write about dreams and aspirations, i am simply trying to get you to focus on your desires and ambitions. i honestly think that at one point in time in your life even as a little princess, you must have had desires and ambitions. I also understand that your desires may have changed from time to time based on realities and situations however every individual on earth has a purpose he or she is created to fulfill and until you fulfill that purpose there would always be a void in you. My posts are only making that void more obvious.

Being married with 3 kids is no joke and it can occupy all your time if you allow it but there is so much more untapped potential left even after taking care of your family. You have a decent job that you are content with and that is fine, however that is not all there is to Ope. You were not just created to grow up, get married, have a decent job, have kids, take care of your family, watch them grow and finally die at a good old age. No. You were created for that and much more. You were created to be a blessing to your generation and an answer to someones prayers. Someone somewhere needs your talents and gifts. Just imagine what would happen if everyone in the world just concentrated on themselves and didn't think outside the box. Now let me bring it closer, Imagine if the owner of your company was just content and didn't start a company, you probably won't have a job today. Not everyone will be entrepreneurs(pls don't get me wrong).

Fulfilling your purpose don't mean you have to be an entrepreneur but i bet that when you find what ticks you, you would wish you had started years ago. (its that much fun and it makes you happy and fulfilled)

Why don't you start with you figuring out what you like or what you are passionate about? It could be anything and it might take you a while to figure out but a little effort a day is all that i required. I will give you an example, a few years ago, i figured out that i love to speak. second i notice that i just don't love to speak, i love to inspire while speaking. I like to get people into action. Overtime i found out that I am most fulfilled when an individual is living their dreams and i know that i helped make that happen. Now you see why i am happy receiving an email from you?

Yours could be anything. You just have to think hard. Take it one day at a time. I don't know you but i can bet that your purpose might be connected to taking care of things/ people. It could be helping young kids or older group of people. i don't know for sure but i am drawing my conclusion from your statement where you wrote, i like taking care of my family and that is what i live for.  i know you are destined for something great and only you can make it happen for you.

Think outside the BOX ope and you will find out what you would like to do in the nearest future.

All the best and please write me again sooner than later.

I hope my 2 cents helped out on your journey to discovering a better you

Regards

Adey

What is Self Esteem and how does it affect you as a person?

After reading the mail sent in by one of my readers, i got inspired to write on the subject of self esteem. (The mail and my response to it is in the previous post)

Self Esteem means having confidence in ones own worth or self.  Self esteem is made up of thoughts, feelings and opinions we have about ourselves. what this means is that self esteem is not static. it can change based on a number of factors.  Those factors are the reasons why people either have low self esteem or high self esteem. Research shows that when you constantly think of yourself in a negative way, you are bound to have low self esteem and when you think highly of yourself without going extreme, you are bound to have a high self esteem.

Having low self esteem can be a huge danger to self more than we realize. Low self esteem makes you feel inadequate, unworthy and incompetent which can lead to depression, failure and untimely death.

Often times people with low self esteem evaluate themselves in a negative way when some circumstances they face touches on their sensitivities. They tend to personalize the incident and see themselves only from that point of view. Enduring abusive situations and relationships are the most popular signs of people experiencing low self esteem.

Overcoming low self esteem is crucial to your success and happiness and you can build your esteem by changing how you view yourself and incorporating the following in your life;

You must see yourself as a unique individual with special talents and qualities.
You must acknowledge and believe the fact that you deserve the best things of life.
You must give yourself only constructive criticism.
You must focus on the good things happening to you and around you.
You must view your mistakes as learning opportunities
You must remind yourself that everyone excels at different things.
You must try new things and give yourself credit.
You must take pride in your opinions and ideas
You must accept compliments
and most importantly you must accept what you can change and what you cannot change.

On the other hand, too much self love can also be destructive. This can result in a sense of entitlement or an inability to learn from failures.

The victory lies in your ability to love yourself just enough without going extreme and becoming self destruct.

My acne is killing my self esteem. I need Help!!!

Dear Adey,

I know this might not be the regular mail you get but i honestly need your advice.  I have been battling with acne for the past 5 years and its not going away. i have tried all there is and spent all my money on treatment. Nothing seems to work. I am concerned because i think its affecting my self esteem. I feel like the whole world is constantly looking at my face. Have you ever had acne before and how did u deal with it?

Thanks

Shay

Hello Shay

Without knowing who you are or what you look like, i will to say that i know for sure that you are a beautiful looking lady/woman. Do not ever let acne tell you otherwise.

Do you know that people could be staring at you because of the lovely purses you carry everyday or it could even be your hair that they were wishing they had? All i am saying is that they could be staring for any other reason besides looking at the acne on your face.

i also want to believe  at least 50% of women have had acne at some point in time of their life so you are not alone. i understand how annoying it can be. i have had acne for at least 6 months at a time and it got me worried i must say but i did not let it define me. i ignore it and went about my business after using as many treatment as i could find. I even went to see a dermatologist who prescribed a topical gel for me and all i can say is that it disappeared at its own time. my face is not near perfect but i love it anyway.  Have a little faith, you might just find what works and even if nothing ever works. please love yourself regardless. you owe yourself that much.

Stay beautiful

Adey

is age really nothing but a number?

Dear Adey 

I have been dating for the past year and it's just been a roller coaster, my boyfriend and I quarrel over every little thing. He never has his priorities straight and I feel like I am dating a child. we never seem to agree and he takes life as a joke. Although he is very matured for his age and I think that's why we fell in love in the first place but sometimes my inner self tells me all this fights and disagreement has a lot to do with his age. He just turned 20 this march and I will be 33 in October. Your advice will be well appreciated.

Deb

Hello Deb

i am so sorry for your stress but i honestly have an issue with the age difference. i think that is where a majority of the stress is coming from. I know not everyone will agree with me but you asked for my opinion so i will give it to you.

i think your partner is at a stage of life very different from you. he is at the exploration stage of life where he wants to experience everything firsthand. Maybe that is why you think he takes life as a joke. You on the other hand might have been there and done that already. i want to believe that you are a working class lady probably looking to settle down soon, start a family and grow your career while your partner on the other hand is probably still in college trying to finish up his degree or maybe he is working. Regardless he is a kid  and will always act like one till he gets a bit older and gets more experiences out of life. 

if you really love him regardless of the age, i think you have to allow him be himself which sometimes involves him displaying child like behaviors.  Honestly even a guy older than you could also give you that same amount of stress although i will still go for an older/mature man  thou, emphasis on the word "mature" but the choice is ultimately yours.  if he makes you really happy then work things out but if the stress is affecting your peace then girl say good bye.

PS. just incase you go with the latter, i will advise that you find yourself someone who is on the same head space as you are in or even someone more mature when it comes to experiences and life. it might help out and make a difference. Just Saying

I hope i was able to help you out

Regards

Adey

What is your Vision?

Having a vision is one of the most important factors in the path of one's success in life. When you set your vision, your value as a person increases dramatically.  Vision gives you a clearer picture of exactly what it is you want which in turn makes it easier to accomplish. A vision inspires action.  It creates the energy and will to make change happen. It inspires you to commit and give your best.

Your vision should be very clear. it should be so sharp and so detailed that you can see, smell and taste the smallest details. second it should be positive. Don’t try to motivate yourself or others with a vision of bad things that might happen if you don’t succeed. A vision based on fear may help fuel immediate action, but it can also limit your results to damage control rather than getting to positive change.

Finally your vision should be big enough to outlive you. A vision that’s too small may not provide enough inspiration, or generate enough energy, to get you past the tough spots. It might even close your mind to what you could achieve. Make a vision for your life and walk baby steps consistently till you achieve it.

See you at the Top

Enjoy

Adey

What is taking your time?

Have you ever wondered where all the time went?

Does it sometimes feel like 24 hours is no longer enough for a day?
Do you feel like you woke up really early to ensure you got everything done only to find out that you couldn't even get to half of your task?

I woke up as early as 7am on this lovely Saturday morning and i wrote down a list of all the things i wanted to accomplish and i even gave a time frame to each task only to find out at 3pm that i had barely moved on my to do list.

In my head i was wondering where time went or what i had been doing the whole time. I soon figured out what the problem was.

I had not set priorities to my to do list and second i did not eliminate potential distractions.

This is one major problem almost everyone is faced with.
In a fast paced world such as these, you have to know what is most valuable to you after which you need to have a "Why" behind it.  Once you figure out why you are doing something, the reason to do it becomes a lot easier or you discover that it is not important. Also you have to eliminate potential distractions.

For me, the distractions on Saturday were the TV and my phone.  i had to turn off the TV and put my phone away to get things done in a timely manner.

Make a conscious effort starting today to find out what is really taking your time. Are they the things you want? or the things other people want?

Start calling yourself out on habits that waste your time so you can clear out the clutter.

It is time to focus on your life and leave the clutter at the door.

Remember TIME lost can never be regained

Enjoy

Regards

Adey

Never Underestimate the power of saying the right words at the right time

Words are so powerful that they can either save or destroy you within seconds. 

So today I made a mistake and put my signature as a witness on a piece of document without thoroughly reading through. In less than 60 seconds I realized that I was going to let someone who owed almost $200,000 walk away. By the time I realized it, the person had driven off and I had less than a minute to think of a solution. My heart was racing and all i could think of was the amount of trouble i had just gotten into.

I decided to pause for a second to think then i decided to call the person up and calmly asked the person to return because i had forgotten to include an information. The person asked if everything was ok and i said yes.

Within ten minutes, the individual returned and when i told the individual that i needed the document  back because my signature need not be there since the statement was not entirely true, the individual refused to give it back. Other people walked in and started making a big deal and the individual got upset. In my head, i am thinking, lord i need a strategy to get this individual to tear up this document or return it to me.

As the individual walked towards the car, i calmly reminded the individual how great of a person he was and how big of a trouble i could get into by having my signature on that document. i robbed all the Ego that i could see and appealed to his senses. This individual didn't know when he dropped the document back  on my table.before he could pronounce the word Jack, i had the document back in my hand. we reasoned together and i tore the document.

We both made peace and i ended up getting my sanity back . LOL

Lesson Learnt

Read a document over and over again before putting your signature on it and more importantly choose your words wisely when dealing with a conflict. This could be at your place of work, your home , your family etc.

You never loose when you say the right words at the right time.

Enjoy!!!

Adey

How can i give when i barely make enough?

Being generous has nothing to do with your income or net worth. it is an habit that one must cultivate in other to be successful and remain successful. The society has clouded our sense of reasoning to always think of ourselves first before others, however true success is measured by how much you are able to give.

I have often heard a lot of people say that they barely make enough money so why should they give from the little that they have but have you ever stopped for a second to think about how you are doing a lot better than at least five hundred thousand people out there who are homeless.  Also do you know that it is in the process of giving that you receive?

Let me share my story with you. Back in 2013 when i started my Masters program, i had no job and my savings was drying up really fast. i had searched for a job all over campus that i got tired and decided to do something else besides looking for Job.  During my first few weeks at the campus, i found out how difficult it was for high school graduates to transition into college life so i decided to set up a school club where graduate students could mentor these freshmen and help them navigate through the walls of college effortlessly. During my registration process, i discovered that i had to get an advisor and that individual had to be a faculty or staff member of the university. i had barely spent 4 months in my Masters program and barely knew anyone. Anyways i looked up the school directory and set up an appointment with the first female staff i could find. I met with the lady and shared my dreams with her. she was so impressed that she introduced me to a dean to become my advisor since she was already an advisor to another club.

During our chat, she asked me how i was going to combine my school workload, running a club and work. i told her i have no job yet so i had time on my hands. She was really surprised that i was wiling to give my time without any form of compensation. The next day i got a call to come for an interview and i was immediately made an offer.   Can i remind you that my qualifications didn't get me that Job. It was simply my selfless heart of giving that got me that incredible offer.  After that day i never had to worry about my tuition or savings again because i worked for the university, they paid for 2 of my classes each semester, gave me a monthly salary and made me pay in state tuition. it  was an amazing offer.

Now if this story doesn't motivate you to give, i don't know what will.... remember that money is not all you can give. You can give you time, talent, resources basically anything that you have...

Make a conscious effort starting from this very moment to start giving. Trust me YOU WILL NEVER LACK.

You have not lived today if you haven't done something for someone who can never pay you back.

Have  a fabulous thursday and don't forget to go follow me on Instagram @askadey_ for daily inspirational messages

XOXO

How long should you invest your time in a dream?

Dear Adey

I have been following your IG post and i see a lot of messages on not giving up on your dreams. i will like to find out how long one should keep trying before finally deciding that it is never going to work out?

Thank you

Babs


Dear Babs

Thank you for writing me and thanks for following my Instagram page. first of all, i believe you should never give up trying to see your dreams succeed.  i think you should keep trying as long as it is something you are passionate about, makes you happy and there is a need for it.
Also you have to be consistent if you want your dreams to actualize in real time.  if you only do it once in a while, then you will only get results once in awhile. Put everything you have got to it and i can assure you that your pay day is closer than you think. Do not be afraid to fail. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another without the loss of enthusiasm. Also just because you are taking longer than others doesn't mean you have failed.  Remember that.....
I want to see you succeed. please write back and share your story with the world.

Thank you

Regards

Adey

Follow me on IG @askadey_ for daily inspirational quotes

Have you ever had your heart broken so bad that you feel worthless?

Dear Adey,

Have you ever had your heart so broken that you feel so worthless? i feel like everything is working against me. i can't even get anything together. i haven't gone to work in 2 weeks. i am so sick to my stomach. i have been dating this guy for 5 years. We have 2 kids together. Recently he started acting weird only for me to find out he was dating someone else. He told me that our relationship wasn't working out and that we should just look for a way to co-parent together. shortly after he broke the news to me, he went ahead and proposed to the other lady. i am all messed up

Dear Dee

Wow.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. No one ever prays for this. i will try to keep it straight and as short as possible. Yes i have had my heart broken and i will share a bit of my story just incase it helps you feel better. Few years ago, I was dating some guy in another country and i relocated to be with him. i left my Job, 2 successful businesses and my family for the man of my dreams supposedly.... Less than 6 months into the relationship, he was seeing someone lese. I also felt worthless at the time. my case was definitely bad because he was the only one i knew in this new location. i had no one to talk too. Family members were thousands of miles away. The only saving grace for me at time was that i was also studying. Thankfully i had accommodation on campus so i wasn't stranded. I had borrowed him part of my tuition and it was impossible to get it back which made me financially stranded. (Stupid of me i know) we have all been there. i cried every night and almost gave up on my education to return to my home country but somehow i gathered all the strength left in me and i decided to push further and focus on my education. it was a horrible time for me, trust me.  i didn't even wanna share my story at the time with anyone because i didn't want to remember how stupid my decisions were. Long story short, i regained my confidence bit by bit, went through my masters program and graduated with a perfect 4.0 GPA. i started dating after a year or so and now i am happily married.

How did i do it? i cried to God everyday and asked him to heal my heart. Slowly but surely it happened.  i listened to inspiring music, read books and listened to a lot of motivational messages. I know you are going through so much pain but trust me when i say this to you. You will feel better really soon.  give yourself time and don't be ashamed to cry. Also with time try and find the strength to forgive him and forgive yourself. I need you to be strong for your kids. They need you now more than ever.  your actions are going to determine how their future will turn out. Please consider them in all you do.

I know this culture doesn't really care if you are married or not to the father of your child. we are used to baby mama and baby daddy but i think you might have felt a lot better if you were married to him when this happened.  The fact that he didn't marry the mother of his kids and chose another lady makes it even more painful but guess what? it is not the end of the world. you will get through this slowly but surely. BTW, i need you to go back to work as soon as possible. you need all the money you can get to raise your kids. In due time, karma will play its card on him. it did with my ex.

Also do not give up on love. if there is anything, I believe you are wiser than you were 5 years ago

Let go and let God take control of your heart. you will be fine.

God bless your heart Dee.

kind regards

Adey

Why do all my projects keep failing?

Dear Adey

I have been following your Instagram page for sometime and i am very impressed with the encouraging post. Most times they encourage me to do better but often after a day or 2 i am already back to my old habit of giving up easily. One major reason why i find myself easily giving up is because almost everything i try never goes beyond the start up stage. i have tried several things this year already and none seem to be working. i am kinda tired and was wondering if you had a specific approach you would take if you were in my position.

Thanks

Naty


Dear Naty,

Thank you so much for writing me and thanks for following my page on Instagram.  its nice to know that my motivating post sometimes help you get moving, however its sad to hear that you easily give up.  I am thinking that maybe you are not really passionate about the projects you started in the first place or you started them for the wrong reasons.

You need to sit down and ask yourself what you really love to do and why do you want to do those things? Also its only April in 2017 and if you have done a lot of things already, i want to assume that you are spreading yourself too thin. Everything that eventually becomes successful requires time,  growth and dedication. You have to spend a good amount of time on one thing and make sure that  you are passionate about whatever your next project is....

I would love you hear your success story soon.

Kind Regards

Adey

What do you do when you find yourself constantly slipping?

Dear Adey

I am a Christian and have been one for over 20 years but I constantly find myself doing the same old things I use to do. How can I live a better life?

Kind regards

Nelson

Dear Nelson

If I tell you that my life was perfect, I would be the biggest liar. I sometimes do find myself in your situation however I find the strength to quickly get up and get back right on track. Thankfully we serve a God who forgives even before we ask him. All he desires is a repentant heart.

However I have done a few things to help me stay on track.

I think of God regularly. The more you think of him either through praise and worship, reading your bible or discussing about him with friends, the more you would be more conscious about your way of life and the things that you do.

• Also keep the right friends around you
• Make an effort to read your bible on a regularly basis. If possible set an alarm to remind you.
• Watch gospel channels and listen to gospel songs
• Attend a bible believing church
• Join a group in your church
• And most importantly pray to God for help. He is always there to help

I have heard too many times that i am not good enough. What do you think?

Who told you, you are not good enough?

Who told you, you will never amount to anything?

Who told you, you are too weak?

Who told you, you are ugly?

Who told you, you don’t deserve the best things in life?

Who told you, you can’t make it?

Who told you, it’s too late?

Who told you, you are too fat or too skinny or too short or too tall to be successful?

Who told you, you have to be a certain person to find love?

Who told you it’s too late to get married?

Who told you, your mistakes can’t be forgiven?

Who told you, you can’t go back to school if you want to?

Who told you to let go of your dreams?

Who told you your current situation is the best thing you can ever get?

Who told you, you can’t do better than that?

Who told you, you have to be stupid to keep a man/woman you love?

Who told you, you can’t get a better job?

Who told you, you can’t live a better life?

Who told you, your dreams are too big?

Who told you, you can’t have it all?

Who told you, you can’t live a fulfilled life?

Who told you, you have to be superficial to be accepted?

Who told you, you can’t be successful unless you join a cult?

Who told you, you can’t make a difference in your generation?

Who told you, God doesn’t exist?

Who told you, God won’t be there for you if and when you call on him?

Who told you, God doesn’t love you?

Who told you these lies?????

Enough is Enough!!!

You deserve better than what you are currently getting. You are a Man/Woman of honor.

You are Great. You are the salt of the earth. Everything you touch increases in value.

You are the light of the world.

You are handsome/ beautiful, charismatic, charming, gifted and bold.

You are responsible and diligent.

You are wealthy and you have power

You have dignity, wisdom and discretion.

You have knowledge, insight and understanding.

You have the ability to excel in all you do.

Be confident and passionate

You can achieve your dreams. Do not let anyone tell you less.

If you want to go to school, please do

If you want a better job, please go for it.

If you want to relive your life please do.

If you want to right your wrongs, go ahead

If you don’t like what you are getting, please step out and move forward

I have come to realize that there are better things ahead!!! Don’t kill yourself repairing what is already broken.

Don’t stop living your life because of anything or anyone.

Your life is your life!!! Events come and go but your life is all you have got.

Live your life and dreams purposefully.

When you make a mistake, dust yourself, get up and move on.

Don’t be limited by these lies.

To anyone who ever told you, you are no good, they are no better.