Foundations of wealth Building

Just like a foundation is required to build a house, same goes for wealth. In order to build wealth that will be sustainable, you need to lay the right foundation and one of such foundation is getting rid of all your debts. Debts is basically anything you owe to anyone. Debts keep you from achieving financial success. Your most powerful wealth building tool is your income and if you have it all tied up to repayment of loans, it would be extremely difficult to build wealth. so its important you concentrate your efforts on clearing all debts. if you have no payments, you can build wealth very quickly. 

Second, you have to learn the habit of savings. Learn to pay yourself first from your income. save a minimum of 20% of your income on a monthly basis.

Next, Set a budget. This means planning your money and telling it where to go. your budget has to be a monthly exercise

Cut costs and eliminate all unnecessary expenses. Stop making others rich at your own expense. You don't have that type of money

Look for ways to invest your money. Money left in a bank account cannot make you rich, you need the right type of investments to help triple your funds. work with professionals who can help you.

Finally be a giver. Give to the less privileged. Give to those in need. Be a blessing to your community. Give in any way possible and you will never lack.

Have a great evening

Kind Regards

Adey

Are you really a father or a sperm donor?

Dear Adey,

I have been thinking of writing you for over a week but it has been really crazy trying to juggle everything. If someone only told me what marriage was all about and the hard work that comes with it, I would have taken a chill pill for another year or so or maybe taken a chill pill on our new bundle of joy. To cut my story short, I have a 6-week-old baby and I am stressed out. I don't know if my hubby is ever going to step up and be a dad to our baby or if he is just going to remain a sperm donor because right now he acts like one. He does not help out with anything. He is even too big to hold the baby for just 5 minutes. He wants me to do everything all the time. I am taking care of this baby and taking care of him all at once. i am getting fed up and just really need to breathe. Any Suggestion?

Thank you

Josephine

Hello Josephine

I am so sorry you are going through this and YES no one ever tells us these things and even if we were told, we would have to experience it to fully understand it. The truth is whether you take a chill pill on marriage for another 5 years, it would still require your hard work. Also taking care of a new baby is not easy and that is why you need all the help you can get from family, friends and hubby.

We are so blessed as women and that is why God gave us a womb. We immediately know how to assume our role as a mother right from the moment we become aware that we are expecting. Men on the other hand are not as forthcoming. Some of them take a while before they come into that reality and trust me this has nothing to do with age.

In other to breathe, i  will like you to do the following;

Look for a good time when you are not stressed to discuss how you feel with your hubby. Let him know how stressed out things are and how you would want him to help in anyway. your husband loves you and will listen to you if you speak in a language he understands. You need to find that language. (Most times its in between being calm, loving and respecting all at the same time).

Also change your mindset and don't think of him as a sperm donor. I understand he may come across as one sometimes but if you allow that to occupy your mind, it will affect how you treat him and you won't get the help that you need. Some men are so slow to come to terms with reality so you may need to bring him up to speed. Do not assume that he knows that you need help.

Please ask and ask and keep asking till he has no other choice than to help you out with the baby. Make a list of the things that really matter to you and focus on those things. Don't ask him to change the diaper just because your friend's hubby changes his baby's diapers. Be realistic and ask accordingly depending on the kind of man you are married to.  Some men are scared of holding babies so small just because they are scared not because they don't want to.

Also let everyone that cares about you and are close enough to you know that you need help in any way. If you don't ask for help, you will never get one. You may have a friend come help you baby sit while you sleep for a few hours. Just an hour of sleep can reset your whole system and make you feel a whole lot better

Order take out if you are too tired to cook. Don't add cooking to the stress if you can't take it.  Your baby is 6 weeks old and needs all your attention all the time.

Take care of yourself. please eat well and rest. I am so sure you have heard it over and over again. sleep while the baby is sleeping..... YES please sleep. Don't start cooking or cleaning. It will add to your stress level.

Finally whenever you are stressed, just take a look at the beauty that you brought into the world and smile and be thankful.

A lot of women are dying for your kind of stress right now.

PS to the men out there reading this blog post, Please help your wife in any way you can. It is not easy being a wife and a new mother. We need your help whether we let you know or not. Remember both of you created this new beauty and not the woman alone. Don't ever get her to the state where she thinks you are a sperm donor. It is ridiculous.   Even if we do not ask for help, offer to be of help.  Be of service to your wife during this period.  A lot of women go into depression during this stage, don't be a reason for your wife to be unhappy about her life. Celebrate her and make her feel good about herself.  Your wife needs your presence and your help. I know you are working hard to provide financially for the family and we are grateful but if you can't employ a maid servant, a cook , a nanny a driver etc to help her life easier then just be there for her and it would matter more than any other thing in this whole world.

I think i have written a book already. LOL.

Josephine i hope you take my 2 cents advice, i believe it will make a difference.

All the best my dear

Congratulations on your new bundle of Joy.

Kind Regards

Adey

What to do when you hate your Job.

Dear Adey.

Thank you so much for your blog. You are such a blessing to this generation.  I was so glad when i came across it. I think you might be able to help me. I am honestly tired of my job and right now i think i hate everything about it. I wish i could just quit but i need the money. I have weekly bills. There is nothing wrong with the job itself but i think i am just bored and need something new.  I have a very busy schedule so it is extremely difficult to make time to prepare myself for another job opportunity. What do you suggest i do?

Thank you

B

Hello B

Thank you for the compliments. You are one of the reasons why i stay devoted to this passion of mine. I am glad you found me and i am positive that i will be able to help you out with an advice or two

You already hate your Job so i think it may be hard to convince you to find a new passion within the organization so let me get straight to helping you make your way out of the door.

If you so much hate your Job and you need another Job then you need to make time for it. Your question doesn't state that you work 24 hours a day 7 days a week so i believe you have some time when you are away from your Job. You have to really look at your schedule and delete every unnecessary activity and make your job search the top priority. Thank God for internet so this can be done anytime of the day. No employer is checking the time stamp on your application as long as it falls within the deadline.

You really have to make time to search for your ideal job and prepare for it. Skip hanging out with friends if you have to. It is just for a short period of time. Searching for a Job is not all about sending out resumes. You have to put in the effort and work. You have to customized your resume to fit into the needs of the organization, that takes time so you have to make the time for it. You hate your job already so you need to do everything you can to change that situation.

Second, you need to figure out what you are really passionate about otherwise you are going to fall into the next job that you are going to hate pretty soon.  I understand that you are crunch for money but you can have money and love what you do all at the same time. Although this doesn't happen by chance. you have to be deliberate about it.  Take out time to discover what you love and what industry best fits into what you love. Research all there is to know and see if you have the needed skills to get into the industry. if you do not, then your next action must be to get trained in that field.
Training does two things for you. 1) it would make you get an offer letter and 2) it could help you get a better pay. Who doesn't need a better pay? I do and i know you do too.

Finally, Start saving. You may get fired before you think of quitting. I don't mean this in a bad way but it might happen if you don't quit early enough. Hatred is a very negative attitude that shows faster than love. Very soon, your supervisors will notice that you hate your job by the way you act. you will probably make mistakes and show very little care for the company and no employer wants that. so i suggest you start saving so that you can keep up with those bills that will show up regardless.

An extra final piece, You don't have to be in love with your Job but i will like you to change your attitude towards it. It is going to help you keep your Job till you don't want it anymore. It would be bad for you to get terminated from a job you hate only to find out the reason why you didn't get your dream job was because of the review you got from the last one.

I know this is not probably what you really want to hear but it is the truth and as my social media friend i choose to be the one to tell it to you.

Let me know if you need any help in discovering your passion. I can work you through the process.

Happy Holiday

Kind Regards

Adey

What are you doing with your time?

Almost every employee loves this phrase "Thank God It's Friday". While we are all happy that is TGIF which means a time to relax and unwind. It is also important for us to acknowledge the weekend as a time to concentrate on working on our personal goals.

As we grow older and begin to accomplish things like marriage, having kids, getting a degree or whatever it is, there is less time in the day. 24 hours suddenly seems like 6 hours.

For individuals with a 9-5 Job, this can be really stressful. You hardly have time during the work week to get anything done because you are busy taking care of your family after you have taken care of your job.

What other time would you then have to accomplish your personal goals? THE WEEKEND.

It is ok to hang out with friends, unwind, relax and all that good stuff, but create a bit of time for your personal goals too. Every good thing requires time and dedication

There would never a specific time in the future alloted for personal development. You have to make time for it somewhere and somehow. You need part of that energy you use at work reserved for the weekend to work on you.

Your personal goals deserve at least half as much attention as you give your work week.  I understand that the work week pays the bills but if you want the personal goal to pay the bills sometime in the future, you need to start investing in it now.

You can't afford to spend all of your weekends every week, every month on attending parties.

Take out time no matter how little, 2 hours a day, 4 hours a week to work on your goals and dreams.

Spend your weekends on something meaningful that your future would be proud of

Spend it on things that will move you closer to your dreams and goals

Have a blessed Weekend &  Holiday

Lots of love

Adey

Wondering how you can get the most of your day?

Do you sometimes wonder where the day went?
Does it feel like you woke up just an hour ago and its already sun down?
Did you wake up with a bunch of things to do and at the end of the day you still have a bunch of things to do?

This used to be my life until i decided to do something about it.  I got tired of writing down my to do list that never got done.

One of the ways to get the most of your day is to set priorities as soon as the day begins or a day before and assign time slots to each item. Setting priorities is essential because of the many distractions we face on a daily basis, I noticed that even the little things you would not imagine can be a huge distraction to your productivity.

Some of those little things include;

• Spending too much time on social media most especially if your work or goal for the day is not surrounded by it.Research shows that an average teenagers spends almost 9 hours on social media everyday and the average adult spends about 2 hours everyday. While social media is not a bad thing and is not the topic of discussion, it is important to pay attention to the few things that might steal your time away from doing the things that actually matter for the day.
• Checking your emails and deleting all the junk can be a huge distraction and can take up to 10 minutes of your time unknowingly. I found out that i spent an average of 10 minutes deleting the zillion junk emails i get from my various email accounts. it was a time killer and i had to do something about it.
• Texting back and forth with friends or spending so much time on the phone chatting with a close pal can be another major distraction..Imagine receiving 10 "5 minute call"s here and there, That is almost an hour of your time gone. If its business related , then you are fine,
• Also clicking on every pop up Ad that shows up on your computer while working can be distracting and it steals away your productivity.
• Watching TV is another huge distraction( I am guilty of this but working on it) 

However the good news is that you can still have all those things during your day when you prioritize and set time slots to them. Decide how long you want to spend on each item you set out to do for the day and make an effort to stick to the time. Work around your schedule and be as realistic as possible.
Before now, i used to wake up and the first thing i grabbed was my phone, just checking one email tuned to 10 mins of my time which delayed other things that could have been done.

It is not wrong grabbing your phone and checking emails but if you know that it affects other things, then it may be better to set another time to check those emails most especially when you know that they are not business emails that need urgent attention.

Pay attention to those things that steal away your productivity and give them time slots, you will be amazed at all the time you suddenly have to do the things that truly matter to you.

Give it a try for this upcoming week and  see the huge difference prioritizing can make.

I wish you all the best as you work towards a more productive you

Regards

Adey

Are some people destined to be great and others not as much?

Dear Adey,

I have been worried about my life for quite a while. I noticed that most of my mates whom i grew up are in a far more better position than i am.  Do not get me wrong, i am not jealous at all. I am just wondering if i need to just stop paying attention to messages i read on greatness. I work so hard yet i have very little to show for it, others i know do not work hard as much and it looks like their life is all figured out. I guess i just need a little motivation

Thank you

Lawrence


Dear Lawrence

I am sorry you feel this way but you have got to know that you are one unique individual created for a unique purpose. Your purpose is different from all your friends so your path will be different. I know you are only being human to compare yourself with your friends but its a dangerous thing to do. Believe me, it will cripple your ideas and cripple your destiny. Every one of us are on a journey, some journeys are just longer than others. Some people get on track faster than others but it doesn't make one better than the other. Also the road is not to the swift. Its doesn't matter who succeeds first as long as we all do. If you believe that you will be great, then i assure you that you will be. it takes you.

Also be patient with yourself and don't run on other peoples timing.

Keep listening to messages on greatness, they will help you in moments like this.

I wish you all the best Lawrence

Regards

Adey,

I am still holding on to the pain from 2 years ago. what do i do?

Dear Adey,

I have been single for the past two years and i am ready to start dating again but a part of me is still holding on to the pain i felt from over 2 years ago and i am not sure if i can trust anyone again. what do you advice i do?

Thank you

Kelly


Hello Kelly

I am so glad that you are thinking about dating. Congratulations

Honestly who hasn't been heart broken? Almost everyone has been there. At least i have been there. I was heart broken but i picked up the pieces back together, mended it and came out stronger, I cant imagine what you went through and i am not trying to down play it in anyway but why are you holding on to the pain? The pain is not going to bring your partner back into your life and neither is it going to make you feel any better, so please drop it right now.

You ex partner cannot still be in control anymore. He or she has had their chance and lost it. Do not keep giving them the right to indirectly control your happiness.

You are single and free. Mingle and make new connections. You don't have to trust blindly but allow yourself to fall in love again.  Love is a beautiful thing and you deserve to have the beautiful things in life including the right partner who will love, care and respect you as a person.

You are in control of your life and everything that happens in it. You have the right to choose anything you desire so i implore you to choose love, happiness, joy, peace and any other good thing you desire for yourself.

Treat everyone based on who they are and not based on the behavior of an ex who hurt you over two years ago.

Give the new people who come into your life a chance to prove themselves.

We all fall to rise. we make mistakes, we live, we learn. Most of us have been hurt but we are alive and grateful..

We are humans and we are not perfect, so do not expect anyone to be perfect. Even the best partner will come into your life with imperfections and you will also appear with your imperfection, but true love overlooks.

May you find true love

Loads of Love

Adey

What is your Career Niche?

Some people know what they are good at, while for others its a bit of work trying to figure out what space to fill. Finding your niche is an important step in your career. It makes you more focused and creates a path for growth.

Just like businesses scramble to build a niche and dominate the market, It is equally important for career minded individuals to build a niche in their career.

Employers are not just looking for experiences but experiences in one field and a track record of growth in that field, so decide what path you want to take and stick with it.

Imagine if your doctor was also your mechanic?  Sounds absurd right? but thats exactly what it is when you try to be good at everything instead of picking one thing?  I understand that the search for a job sometimes makes people move from one path to the other but after a while you should sit down and decide what path you want in your career.

You can't be trying out all industries and expect to be exceptional. Imagine you have an accounting degree with a wealth of experience in the industry and you apply for an accounting  job with another individual who has the same accounting degree but has been in a customer service field as his wealth of experience whose resume do you think will be picked out first?

Its not rocket science. Even if you have to switch jobs from time to time, you have to figure out where you want to serve. What space do you want to fill? Out of all your life experiences, your passions, your educational background, which one appeals to you the most? which one would you like to pursue and make a career out of?  which ever you decide is going to be your career niche.

What is a career Niche? Simply put a career niche is a particular line of work that you want to be identified by. You want to build yourself in a particular industry of your choice and be great in that industry. your career niche doesn't have to be anything you studied in school. it is basically what you decide you want for yourself and what you want to be.

I studied International Relations as my first degree but today i am doing something totally opposite.  i have found my passion and gifts and i am building myself up in that field to become a master. You too can do the same.

Most people who know what their career niche is are never out of work for too long because they have established a line of work and are building experiences everyday in that line

start today and decide what your Career Niche is

All the best as you discover yourself

Regards

Adey

Even the worse person has a good side

I was discussing with a friend last week and she was telling me how someone had hurt her so much in the past about 5 years ago and sometime this year, she met a friend who also knew the individual. Both of them had completely different opinions about the person.

My friend felt, the individual in question was really mean and selfish. She basically called the individual every bad name you could thing of while her friend felt this individual was an angel.

The question she asked me was this. How can people pretend so much that others think they are good people when in truth they are terrible? My response was; this individual in question could have changed. 5 years is a very long time to start afresh. I remember her response was "people never change". We went back and forth over the issue and i remember telling her that the best she could do was not to destroy what the individual had built since she had not seem the person in five 5 years and she was not certain if the individual was pretending or not.

That conversation is what todays discussion is all about.

Good people sometimes make bad decisions. They mess up and let others down but that doesn't make them bad people. we all make mistakes. I certainly do not know if this individual in question is good or bad. I mean who am i to even judge. I am probably good to some and i guess bad to some. You can't really tell. Sometimes we hurt people unknowingly. Sometimes we hurt them fully aware but maybe we were just being childish and stupid.

I am of the opinion that if someone who has hurt you is remorseful and has asked for your forgiveness, Go ahead and forgive the person. Sometimes, they may not even ask, still forgive and move on.

We meet people at different stages in our lives and those stages reflect how we act. The older we become, we realize our mistakes and rebrand ourselves to be better people and there is nothing wrong with that. It is not pretending, rather it is working towards becoming a better self and it is allowed anywhere in the world.

Someone who hurt you in the past can be an angel today or tomorrow and even if you do not believe them, don't hurt them in return by destroying all the work they put towards improving themselves.

Imagine if you were constantly judged through out your life by your past mistakes, how would you feel?

Let us learn to give people the benefit of a doubt and watch out for their actions.  If their new attitude reflects a good personality, then erase their past memory and acknowledge who they have become.

I know its hard but let love always prevail.


Yours Truly

Adey

Can you at least give yourself a chance to succeed?

Why would you prefer to remain the same just because you are too afraid to give things a try?

Why would you prefer to be depressed, unhappy and sad?

I hear people say too many times, i am just tired. Tired of what exactly?

Too tired to succeed?
Too tired to try one more time?
Too tired to see your dream become a reality?

What exactly are you tired of?

Someone once told me, i am tired of simply trying out things that end up not working out and my response was why don't you start trying things that will end up working out.  You haven't tried anything yet until you have tried everything.
If you haven't tried as many times as the number of days you have spent in this world then you haven't tried enough.  Everyday gives us the opportunity to be something great. Are you using that opportunity well?

Things don't just go wrong and break your heart just for you to stay depressed and worn out, they happen to break you down and build you up so that you can be all that you were created to be.

You think it might not work out so you don't even try it out because you don't want to bear the pair that comes with failing, but have you ever wondered or asked yourself What if? What if it just works out? What if it works out not as i planned but even better than i anticipated?

A delay is not a denial
A failure is not fatal

Raise the bar on your self, increase your determination and explode your drive. Allow yourself to fail on your way to succeeding. Failure is an opportunity to start all over again but this time you do it more intelligently.

You owe yourself a chance to succeed at your goals.
You owe your family, your parents, your children, your community and this world to succeed.
People need you and are waiting on you.
I am waiting on you. i want to be able to share your good news on my platform.

Can you please give yourself a chance to succeed? 2017 has got to be your year.

Lots of Love

Adey

What do you see? Problems or Opportunities

Problems are just opportunities in disguise which most of the time require hard work before you can realize them.

Too often we only see the glass as half empty, never realizing that the glass is also half full. When you focus on the problem, everything that can be wrong will be more evident but if you take a second to shift your attention to the opportunities that lie beneath the problem, solutions will begin to appear.

The first step in turning your problems into opportunities is to believe that you can. Every battle in your life is either lost or won first in your mind. you have to have a positive mindset at all times and believe in yourself.  Most people do not get what they want simply because they believe they can't have it. Once you get your mind in a positive state, you will only be thinking of solutions each time a problem appears. Also you will have the right attitude to attack the problem which is very important.

Second, shift your focus on the opportunities that lie beneath the problem. When you focus on the problem, the problem become bigger. Don't spend time talking about the problems, talk about the opportunities, the more you talk about the opportunities the more solutions will appear.

Third, let the problem motivate or inspire you. I heard the story of a 28 year old woman who bought a pair of pants for $89. This happened over 14 years ago. The pants annoyed her so much because every undergarment she wore showed through. The thick waistband caused a ripple and the legs made a rumple. This young woman was Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanx. Her frustrations inspired her which led her to create the first prototype of her billion dollar product, Spanx by cutting off the feet from a pair of a traditional pantyhose. She basically turned a problem into a billion dollar opportunity.

Last but not least, take an action on the opportunity. I heard the story of a man who spent over $800 hiring a private driver for one night, thou rich at the time he felt that was too much to spend on a taxi service. He starting thinking of ways to bring down the cost of black car services and thats how the concept of Uber was born. He acted on the opportunities he could see and as of date, Uber is used in almost every major country of the world.  Problems will always come up in life, its how you view them that matters.

Regards

Adey,

Is the pettiness really worth it?

Was it really worth all the fighting?

• Do you look back at situations in your life and wonder what could have happened if you handled the situation differently?
• What could have happened if you didn't assume the worse of the other person? 
• What could have happened if you didn't just give up too soon?
• What could have happened if you reached out to the other person even when you were upset just to get an explanation from whomever offended you?
• Did you even give the other person an opportunity to explain?
• Even after an explanation from the other person, did you accept it?
• Did you forgive and move on?
• Do the people that offended you even know that you are upset at them? 

Just like any other good thing, good relationships require hard work, trust and forgiveness over and over again. Life is too short to spend all of it in anger and unforgiveness.  Holding on to unforgiveness cripples the body and it could be the worse sickness ever known to mankind. Harboring negative emotions like anger and hatred creates a state of chronic anxiety which produces excess adrenaline and cortisol which further depletes the production of natural killer cells, which is our body's foot soldier. Anger and hatred could be worse than any form of cancer.

So I ask you again? Is the pettiness really worth your happiness, joy, peace and good health?

Would you rather live an unfulfilled life just because someone wronged you?
 It doesn't not matter what was done or said, your joy, peace, happiness and good health far surpasses the pain and sadness that comes with the hatred you carry

You deserve to be happy and be free from he bondage holding you down.

Research shows that over 50% of destroyed relationships stem from petty issues and un-forgiveness. Have you really sat down to take an audit of what is really causing you this pain?

Why are you staying upset?

Don't get me wrong, It is ok to get upset but staying upset is wrong and petty. Keeping malice is childish.

If the person in question that made you so mad is dear to you, I encourage you to reach out and express your feeling. Trust me, it would make you feel much better.  When you forgive, you will find peace within you. Anger is a burden and until you let go, you will remain sick.

Be the bigger person and forgive.

It doesn't matter if it is your partner, friend, parent, sibling, co-worker or neighbor. Let us all learn to reach out and speak out our mind when we are offended by the people we care about. They are worth it

I hope you find the courage to put your ego and pain aside and reach out to whoever offended you, if you still care about them thou.  Do it for the sake of the relationship and if that is not big enough for you, at least save yourself

Regards

Adey

How to make good decisions

Dear Adey

How can you tell if one decision will be better than the other in the long run? I often make better short term decisions than long term ones. I am hoping you can share a method that can help me achieve better results.

Thanks

Kelvin
________________________________________________________________________

Dear Kevin

Making decisions whether long or short term always require the same process. Often times we just give more importance to one over the other depending on if it is a trivial one like deciding what to wear today or a life changing one like deciding who to spend the rest of your life with.

Decision making is a skill and like every other skill must be developed every day to enable you become better.  The question then should be, How can I develop my decision making skill to enable me make better decisions regardless of short or long term.

• The first would way would be to get knowledge. You cannot make good decision without knowledge. You have to be well informed and it is usually based on the information that decisions are made. So for example if you were to make a decision on what to wear to work on a Monday morning, you will probably factor in situations like meetings with clients etc, it is based on the information that you decide whether to be corporately dressed or casually dressed. Same thing with a life partner, you will need information by answering questions like the following;  What do I want in a life partner? What characteristics do I need my partner to have? What kind future would I want to have?  If you are a religious person, you may even ask yourself questions about your preference to a particular religion. All of those data will help influence your decision in making one choice over the other. So I think the problem you are facing is not because they are long term decisions, rather its because they are life changing decisions. Life changing decisions are always scary to make so you are not alone on this boat.
• After getting knowledge about the decision you are trying to make, I will like you to list all your fears.  List everything that is making you worried about the decision you are trying to make, You may find your answers during this process.
• After that identify all the worse case scenario that could happen if you made the decision.  For example if you are trying to figure out what decision would be better if you stayed home and took care of your kids or worked full time and took them to the day care. Identify the worse of both situations. You may find your answers just by doing this process
• Seek advice from experts or someone who is more knowledgable in the area you are trying to make your decision.  You could do this if you are not confident in your decision. Be careful not to be get influenced and choose their opinion. Remember everyone makes decisions based on their life experiences and situations and your situation may be completely different from the next. So please be very careful with this process.
• Finally, stay calm. making decisions based on high emotions whether negative or positive could impact your ability to make rational decisions

Best of luck

Adey,

how can i improve my gifts

Dear Adey

Can you please write a post on how to improve on talents and gifts?

Regards

Toyin

________________________________________________________________________

Hello Toyin

Here it is.

I would advice you begin with one talent at a time if you are multi-talented.  Jack of all trade makes you a master of none. I understand that everyone is blessed with more than one gifts but its important you pick one gift you really love and are passionate about. It allows you concentrate all your efforts and energy. It also creates the opportunity for you to be exceptional at it.

Once you have identified the talent, it time to improve upon what you already know.  Talent gives you an advantage because the practice is effortless.

The best way to improve on your gift is to practice with your gift. Practice exposes you to your mistakes but it also creates an amazing opportunity for improvement. With practice you can only getter.

Also, I will advice on deliberate practice. This is a situation where you find a mentor in that same field to coach you. This creates the opportunity for rapid growth and concentration. It also saves you time which is one of man's most limited resources.

After much practice, Launch your gift and talent to your community.  This puts your talent under much pressure but the rewards are awesome.  You get financially rewarded yet improving upon the gifts. you also get to live a fulfilled life

Finally, you improve on your gifts by sharing it with the world and blessing someone through it.

Regards

Adey

What does it take to Succeed?

Dear Adey,

What does it take to Succeed?

Robert
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Dear Robert,

I have been asked this question many times by various people and my answer always remain the same. The best way to succeed is to have the desire to succeed which all begins with YOU.

You are the only person who can make yourself succeed. You have to be willing to succeed and that starts with Ambition

So my question to you is this, do you have an ambition for success? If you do then you are well on track.

To have an ambition for success is to be willing to work hard at all times. Do not be like the rest of the crowd who blame people for their failures. They blame the society, their family and their background. They blame everyone except themselves. The truth of the matter is this, it does not matter if the problems in your life were caused by someone else. You have to rise regardless. You remain the only person who can fix your problem. Connections, favor, grace etc will only help after you pass this first stage which is taking responsibility. If you want things to be better in your life, You have to make it better. YOU are the most important in this process.

After you recognize how important you are in this process, the next step would be to stop procrastinating. Procrastination is a killer of dreams. It doesn't matter how fantastic your ideas or dreams might be, once procrastination is involved, it will always remain an idea or a dream. Tackle problems and opportunities that come your way early on. This allows you to be excellent at what you do.

Also develop the necessary skills in the area you are trying to succeed at. You have to be exceptional to be successful and that requires knowledge and wisdom. Do your research and spend quality time finding out more and doing more. This is one sure way to succeed at anything you have an ambition for.

Last but not least, develop connections. No man is an island. We need people and people need you. You just have to recognize when and where. If you don't find yourself before you find people, you won't have use for your connections and it would all be a waste of time.

I wish you all the success in store for you Robert

Have a great weekend

Regards

Adey

How to be an Entrepreneur

Dear Adey,

I have always had a desire to start a business but I don't know what steps to take? Can you share some information on how to start a business?

Thank you

Frank

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Hello Frank

Of course I would be glad to give you some information on how to start a business.

Step 1:
The first step to starting a business is having an idea. Your idea can be a product or a service. For example, you can have an idea to start selling clothes. Clothes would be the product or you could have an idea to start selling a service which could be for example, a legal service if you were to be a lawyer.Once you have a perfect idea of what you want to do, the next thing would be to start planning.

Step 2:
You need to develop a business plan. This plan tells you how you will run your business, deal with risk, know your competition, know your strengths, weakness, opportunities and threats. Having a plan tells a lot about the business. If you can't win on paper then you can't win in real life. Be honest and as realistic as possible when setting up the financial part of the plan. Also the marketing part of the plan must be well laid out, there is no use of a brilliant idea if you do not know how to sell it.

Step 3:
Source for the funds you need for your business. ( it could be your savings, family, friends or bank)

Step 4:
Register your business and create the legal structure for the business

Step 5:
Execute the business plan in step 2

Step 6:
Employ personnel if need be. I understand its a new business and you may not have funds but you also need to quickly recognize your strength and weaknesses. If for example you have a brilliant idea but you are terrible at sales or marketing, you may need to employ someone for that. That individual could be placed on a commission.  A lot of entrepreneurs make this mistake, they think they should do it all at the initial stage irrespective of their strengths.

Step 7:
Advertise your business

Step 8:
Learn from your mistakes and apply your lessons learnt to the business. Monitor your big win and loss and revise accordingly

Step 9:
Grow to become excellent at what you do

Step 10:
Stay Consistent

These steps should get you started. Let me know if you run into any issues or need more information.

All the best Frank

Regards

Adey

What is the key to a long lasting and happy relationship?

Dear Adey,

What would you say is the key to a happy marriage and long lasting relationship?

Ken
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Dear Ken

I do not think there is just a key. I believe its a bunch of keys that makes marriage last till death. you just have to use different keys on different days depending on the situation

I would share a few of my thoughts and trust readers to add their opinions in the comment section so that we can all learn from each other.

Key No 1:
I believe a successful and long lasting marriage begins with you as a person long before you even get married.  Preparation is key . Find yourself before finding your partner.

Who are you as a person?
What are your values?
What do you believe in?
What is your perspective on marriage? Do you think its for better for worse?
What character are you made of? I know there is no perfect person but are you a work in process?
Do you want to be a better person?

Until you have an identity and know who you are and what you are made up of, you may not be ready to go into marriage because you don't want to find yourself in marriage only to discover that you are with the wrong person. Let me quickly say that your identity has nothing to do with the money in your bank account or how accomplished you are as a person.

Key No 2:
Marry right once and for all. Take your time to make the right choice.

Key No 3:
Establish your private space. Having too many people in your business which includes family, friends, social media etc can ruin a happy home. If whatever issue you are facing is bigger than you, seek counsel with a matured individual who you trust to give you wise counsel and keep your matter private. Above all pray to God

Key No 4:
Continue your courtship even in a marriage.  Successful marriages require hard work and you must keep working at it every day. All those things that made him/her fall in love should be continued. i know its difficult. Kids come along the way etc but make a conscious effort to keep that fire and passion alive.

Key No 5:
Forgive over and over again....... You need this key almost everyday.Do not keep malice with one another. I cannot overemphasize this. It is childish and very self destructive.

Key No 6:
Guard your thoughts and learn to discard any negative thoughts. Do not get trapped by evil thoughts. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. Wrong thinking destroys marriages. It starts with little thoughts like i don't think he loves me, I think it is better if we end this. My life would be better if I were single. That girl is sexy. All those thought are self destructive if they get bigger by the day.

Key No 7:
Be selfless. Think of the partner always in every decision you make. if both parties do this, they will end up making each other happy.

Key No 8:
Respect and love each other on a daily basis

Key No 9
Do not deprive each other of Sex. It is part of your responsibility.

I think I will stop for now and allow readers to continue from here....

Thank you Ken for your question

Regards

Adey

I want more !!!

Dear Adey

i have an average paying Job that pays me just enough to pay my bills. i have no savings and live on credit card most of the time. i really desire to be an entrepreneur to enable me have more time but i can not at the moment because i am working towards buying a house but by my calculations, it will take me about 3 and a half years to be able to come up with a 20% down payment.  i don't want to pay insurance premiums and incur more bills but it looks like that may be my only option. i still have some outstanding debts i am trying to clear off which might take me another year or so. What would you do in this situation. i desire to move into my new home in less than 2 years.

Lawrence

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Hey Lawrence

Congratulations on having a well laid out plan. Many people do not even have a plan.

if i were in your situation, the first thing would be to try and increase that income by getting another job or starting a business on the side. Becoming an entrepreneur just to have more time might not really be feasible because running a business takes a lot of your time. most especially at the initial stage. You will not on a 9-5 schedule though but you will be on a schedule 24 hours until you are able to structure your business, make sales etc. however i think you should start something on the side till you are able to stand enough to quit and go full time. Take the risk, it may work out sooner than you plan and it may bring you more income to enable you buy your house within a shorter time frame.

I do not know how much your new home will cost so its hard to help you work out the math. if it takes you 3 years to save up your down payment then that is what i would do. Buying a home at a lesser percentage incurs insurance premium payment in most situation till you get back up to the 20% payment. That is an unnecessary cost that you do not need.  you could rent a little while longer till you get your savings up to 20%. Most people who put less than 20% down payment end up paying for their homes twice when you add up all the extra payments that you could have saved.

Second, i would focus on clearing out all the outstanding debts so that i don't have too many bill reminders coming in the mail all at the same time. It can be frustrating. I will save all i can possibly save. There is no need for a major vacation right now.

Third, I would look for how to increase my income by finding another job. So for example if i am looking for $50,000 as my down payment , i would divide it by the number of months i have left before my desired move in date. Let us take May 2019 as our desired move in date chichis 2 years from today, that comes up to about $2083 each month and i will look for a job that will make my salary increase by that figure so that i can immediately save the extra for the down payment without having to change my life style. Using this calculation, if you desire to move in sooner, all you will have to do is pick a date that you desire and divide the down payment by that, that way you know how much increase in pay you are searching for and you can get the necessary skills needed to be able to land that type of job offer.

Hope i made some sense.

Thank you so much for writing

Regards

Adey

Love is coming your way

I was thinking of what to post on the blog when i got a message from a friend  to write something about love. So here it is. i hope it encourages someone.

We all know that love is a beautiful thing yet when expressed wrongly and abused it can be a dangerous force to deal with. Many have experienced happiness in their lives through the expression of love while many have also experienced pain, suffering and even death.

To those who are currently in love and expressing it in abundance. i congratulate you and wish you the best and to those who have been disappointed, hurt, beaten and shattered, hope is on the way. it is not the end.

The fact that you have been hurt before doesn't mean you do not deserve love.  Do not give up on love. With life comes hope and with hope comes possibilities to accomplish whatever you desire. So if you desire to love and be loved, hope for it, pray for it, give it in abundance to those around you, go for it or let it find you. Do not close your heart and mind. Those who hurt you do not simply know how to love so do not let them define how your story should end.

• You will find love again with the right person if you believe you will.
• Let go of the past hurts and pain
• Forgive yourself and forgive those that hurt you
• Realize that no man or woman can complete you. You are complete in christ Jesus who created you.
• Love yourself and know your worth
• Do not give your pearls to swines. 
• Know the difference between a prince and a pig
• Work on yourself and be your best version everyday
• Know the difference between love and lust
• Know your values 

and when you finally find love again, be patient and be kind. Open your heart and be receptive to love.

Almost everyone has had their hear broken at one point in time so you are not alone. I have had my heart broken, i almost did not have any left to pick up but it is not how many times your heart was broken that counts but your ability to overcome hurt and live a fulfilled life.

To all those who desire to find love, I wish you find love sooner than later.

Love is coming your way.

Lots of Love

Adey

Is it possible to be good at something and not like it?

Dear Adey,

Is it possible to be good at something and not like it? I have been doing some soul searching and trying to discover my gifts and talents. one of the talents that comes to mind is something i do not really like. I am kinda confused on this whole subject of talents, gifts and purpose. A little help will be great. Thank you

Victoria
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Hello Victoria

Don't be confused. Just take it one step at a time.  You are not alone on this Journey. I am here with you. Yes it is possible for you to be good at many things and not like it.

For example, you could be very good at your Job and your purpose in life could be completely different from what your job responsibilities are.

You could really have a good voice and be in the choir and not really like it. Maybe you were even forced by people to join the choir because they noticed your nice voice.

So Yes you could be good at something and not like it. Also you could really love something and not be good at it. So it works both ways but when it comes to your purpose and fulling it, i think both have to work together for you to be exceptional

Also sometimes your purpose might not be related to your talent and sometimes it could. It is  just different for different people.

Let me give you an example.

I shared a story some day ago on my Instagram page(@askadey_) about a lady who started a non profit organization to help mothers who had lost their children to violence restore their hope. This woman had suffered a huge loss. She lost her son to gun violence and held the killer in un-forgivness for so long until she could'nt anymore. she finally forgave the young man and found out that a lot of people were going through similar issues. she decided to be a helping hand. Her purpose in life was birth out of her pain not necessary from the talents and gifts that she had.

Other times you see a lot of people really good at something and their purpose aligns perfectly with their talents.

I don't know exactly what your talent is but you might be mixing things up.  You have to keep searching till you find something that you are passionate about and 100% of the time, you would love whatever you are passionate about.

Good Luck Victoria

Keep searching till you find it and when you do, you will know

Happy Thursday

Kind Regards

Adey

Is your financial lifestyle damaging you?

Dear Adey

I was laid off from my Job about 2 weeks ago and everything that can go wrong is already underway. my car just stopped working some days ago and needs major repairs, my car insurance is also due. i am thinking of applying for 2 new credit cards to enable me stay current with the bills and get my car repaired but i have average credit, i do not know if i can get enough credit line. I just need a sense of direction and i know there is something you can tell me that will help that is why i reached out.

Tami

Hello Tami

So sorry to hear about this.

Depending on how long you worked with your previous employer, you may want to apply for unemployment benefits. That should help you out for a few weeks while you are searching for a job. (if you don't qualify due to location or time in employment, that is fine)

Also you need to contact the closest workforce solution to you and let them know you searching for a job. You might find an immediate opening

You need a job as soon as possible and you should spend a lot of time everyday looking for it. Also while searching for a Job, if you happen to have any skill that can be exchanged for money, begin advertising that skill set to friends, neighbors and on social media.  This is the opportunity for you to think outside the box and become more creative.

Also you can go learn something new. A lot of times, government agencies sponsor a new skill set. I know about the state of Texas. You can research more about it and your area.

Your car is bad and i think you should cancel your insurance till you are able to fix the car. There is no reason to carry an auto insurance on a car that is not working. This might save you one month or more.

I understand how important the credit card is to you at this point in time.  I will advice you do a little bit of research before making that choice.  i do not really support you applying for credit cards because of the pattern i can see here.  You are not very good with money. However if you must take new credit cards, look for those with 0% APR for over 15 months, Check the APR rate and also look for the lowest rate. you can check some credit unions. they offer low rates. This will make you pay off a few bills without accruing interest. However you need to get a job asap to be able to pay it off.

When you do finally get a job, you must change your  financial lifestyle completely.

• You going broke just 2 weeks after a lay off shows that you never saved a penny while you were working and it doesn't matter if you were earning minimum wage, there is always an opportunity to save.

• Second you need to have a budget and get on it as soon as possible and live by that budget.

• you need to have a savings account and save for things like car maintenance, insurance etc.

• you need an emergency fund account for times like this. (you always have to be prepared for the unseen).

Do you know that having cash in the bank- a minimum of $1500 and having an emergency fund of at least 3 months of your expenses could have saved you of all the stress you going through?

It is never too late to start as long as you get started today.  So please get things going already

The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

I hope you make a conscious effort starting today to get on a financial diet and change your lifestyle totally.

You can do it

Kind Regards

Adey

Money Problems!!!

Dear Adey,

My husband and i constantly have misunderstanding over money issues.  we have been married just 9 months and i do not know if i can deal with all of these. He spends money without thinking. we have a lot of debts and he does not really care how it gets paid. i am so worried that we are not saving for a lot of things. I am really tired and its frustrating. is there something i could do and does this happen to other married couples?

Thank you

Sharon

Hey Sharon

You are not alone. Almost every married couple at some point in time in their lives have had to deal with money issues. I am of the opinion that it is one of those test that every married couple must pass. its so sad that you are just 9 months into it and you are already overwhelmed but the good news is that this too shall pass. There is no permanent storm in any marriage, sunshine is bound to happen.

Here are a  few things that you can do;

You need to look for a way to sit your husband down and tell him how you feel. Let him  know how frustrating and insecure it makes you feel whenever he spends moneys without a plan. Be calm about it because men can be very defensive.

Help set up a monthly budget for the family and ask him for inputs. You might be able to help him discover a few things during this process

if you have a job, start saving your own money and show him by example.

if you happen to be a woman of faith, Pray about it and God will touch his heart.

Finally just do anything within your power to save for the family, even if it requires taking money from him to do it.  He will be glad you did at the end of the day.

Hope my 2 cents of advice helped out.

Hopefully we have readers who can help out with more advice

All the best Sharon

Kind Regards

Adey

The Act of Forgiveness

There is not one person on earth that hasn't be offended by a loved one. As you go through life, at some point in time, you are either going to hurt a loved one/ones or they are going to hurt you.  That loved one can be a spouse, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a child or anyone you hold close to your heart.

It is pertinent for you to know that you must constantly forgive not necessary because the other party deserves it but most importantly because you need it to heal.

Forgiveness is hard and painful, i know but it is in the process of forgiving that we find our own healing.

You probably thinking i don't know how much it hurt you or what was destroyed by the act committed by the other person and you are probably right.  The thing is, the person who hurt you may have forgotten all about it and you are the one in constant pain either seeking revenge or just holding on to the pain.

I am not bothered about who hurt you but i am worried about you and your welfare. I need you to be the best version of yourself and you cannot accomplish that if you are holding someone in un-forgiveness.

You need to let it go....

For you to heal completely, you have to stop touching that pain, you have to stop thinking about it and most importantly you need to stop wishing the person/ people bad.

I have often heard that you are not healed until you can pray for the person who hurt you and i believe that to be very true.

When someone does something wrong, don't forget all the things they did right, you might find strength to forgive and move on from it, most especially if it happens to be your spouse that you have to see daily or a child or parent.

Also since you are not without sin and you have also hurt someone that cares about you, you probably want to learn how to forgive so that you too can be forgiven.

Forgiveness is an attribute of a strong individual.  it sets you free from bondage.

Remember to also forgive yourself of all your regrets and mistakes and move on

To forgive is to truly love yourself and your neighbor.

Happy New Month

Regards

Adey