What is the key to a long lasting and happy relationship?

Dear Adey,

What would you say is the key to a happy marriage and long lasting relationship?

Ken
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Dear Ken

I do not think there is just a key. I believe its a bunch of keys that makes marriage last till death. you just have to use different keys on different days depending on the situation

I would share a few of my thoughts and trust readers to add their opinions in the comment section so that we can all learn from each other.

Key No 1:
I believe a successful and long lasting marriage begins with you as a person long before you even get married.  Preparation is key . Find yourself before finding your partner.

Who are you as a person?
What are your values?
What do you believe in?
What is your perspective on marriage? Do you think its for better for worse?
What character are you made of? I know there is no perfect person but are you a work in process?
Do you want to be a better person?

Until you have an identity and know who you are and what you are made up of, you may not be ready to go into marriage because you don't want to find yourself in marriage only to discover that you are with the wrong person. Let me quickly say that your identity has nothing to do with the money in your bank account or how accomplished you are as a person.

Key No 2:
Marry right once and for all. Take your time to make the right choice.

Key No 3:
Establish your private space. Having too many people in your business which includes family, friends, social media etc can ruin a happy home. If whatever issue you are facing is bigger than you, seek counsel with a matured individual who you trust to give you wise counsel and keep your matter private. Above all pray to God

Key No 4:
Continue your courtship even in a marriage.  Successful marriages require hard work and you must keep working at it every day. All those things that made him/her fall in love should be continued. i know its difficult. Kids come along the way etc but make a conscious effort to keep that fire and passion alive.

Key No 5:
Forgive over and over again....... You need this key almost everyday.Do not keep malice with one another. I cannot overemphasize this. It is childish and very self destructive.

Key No 6:
Guard your thoughts and learn to discard any negative thoughts. Do not get trapped by evil thoughts. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life. Wrong thinking destroys marriages. It starts with little thoughts like i don't think he loves me, I think it is better if we end this. My life would be better if I were single. That girl is sexy. All those thought are self destructive if they get bigger by the day.

Key No 7:
Be selfless. Think of the partner always in every decision you make. if both parties do this, they will end up making each other happy.

Key No 8:
Respect and love each other on a daily basis

Key No 9
Do not deprive each other of Sex. It is part of your responsibility.

I think I will stop for now and allow readers to continue from here....

Thank you Ken for your question

Regards

Adey